Be afraid.  Be very afraid.


Moxy Früvous
Great Big Sea
Star Wars

"This is what civilization should look like."
-- Ralph Nader on Powell's Book Store

"That many people taking an interest is scary. The Internet is a scary thing. I'm a complete technophobe, which is why I don't have e-mail."
-- Orlando Bloom on his 'Net popularity

"Close only counts with horseshoes and hand granades."
-- Anonymous

:: The Violent Stuff of Dreams ::
:: 10:45 p.m. ::
:: Monday, March 25, 2002 ::

~~ Dreamblog ~~

Images and sounds, as I remember them; please excuse the Faulkner-ness, but disjointed is the natural state of dreams…

“We need to find it.” ‘It’ was a special, mystical device that had been hidden for many centuries in the mountains. Closed, it resembled a large, egg-shaped pocket watch, its gold face decorated with intricate organic patterns. It had a single loop on one side, attached to a slim golden chain.

I knew where ‘it’ was.

The chain was around a boy’s neck. He looked up at me, from his seat on the couch in the old house.

Then They came, and the scene changed.

I was hiding in the basement, but I could still see Him kill the boy and take the golden item. He caressed it, lovingly. The beautiful woman next to him wrapped her arms around his waist.

“Lover…” she breathed, “we have it.”

I escaped the house – They came so close to catching me – and ducked underneath the windowsill, hoping my pursuers would run right past. An old hag burst around the corner of my hiding place and cackled at me.

Running. Running with a knife in my hand.

He would have the power of life and death, if he activated the device. I couldn’t let Him do that… I had to beat him to it. Maybe I couldn’t control the power – maybe it would destroy me – but I knew that it would be better than letting Him have it.

The only way to stop him was with death.

Rending. Tearing. Ripping. Severing.

One of us had to anoint our hands in blood, at the proper moment. Him or me. My problem was, I didn’t know when the ‘proper moment’ was. So I had to keep using the knife…

Blood, dripping alone amongst the silence. It sounded so much like a leaky faucet that I had to fight the urge to laugh.

Hysteria didn’t rule me, but it made a fine motivator. I was cold inside.

I knew what I was doing. I knew I had to do it.

I circled around the shack. There were no doors to speak of, just doorways. There was hay spread across the floor.

It was time.

I popped my head inside; someone else was there.

It was the beautiful woman I’d seen earlier.

“I would do anything for Him,” she said, as I lay captive. “Anything.”

She was bleeding from a stab wound in her gut. He was behind her, with His hand on the knife.

“You lose,” His silvery, smiling voice intoned.

~~ End Dreamblog ~~

:: Oxygen ::
:: 05:57 p.m. ::
:: Thursday, March 21, 2002 ::

"Is neo-classicalism an oxymoron?"

It's Thursday. I like Thursdays. I have no 6th period, so they are short. Saturdays are better, but for now I will settle for Thursday.

Destruction is officially ill again. She's got something growing on her eye... not fun. Despair looks like she's losing weight (and scales).

In other news:

I like Subway. I went there during my free period today. Yum. Food is good. I should go get some more.

Songly Thing of Goodness: 'Mary, Mary' by Chumbawamba

:: Izz Me ::
:: 06:38 p.m. ::
:: Wednesday, March 20, 2002 ::

Hallo. This is your (infrequent) dose of Saje...

Went on a field trip to Reed College today. I got nucked! I can now turn opaque at will! (Instead of invisible... it was a small nuclear reactor.)

According to this, the closest religion to my beliefs is Neo-Paganism (a collection of faiths of which my own religion is a part. Fancy that). This is followed closely by Unitarian Universalism, New Age, Mahayana Buddhism and Theravada Buddhism. My least similar religions are: Jehovah's Witness, Eastern Orthodox, and Roman Catholic. Interesting.

I'm fighting off a headache. I hope I win.

Passed my German Oral last week. This was a happy. Also happy was my turning in of my final IB History Paper.

I got accepted to Cornell! It's only as an Animal Science major, at this point. I think they haven't decided whether or not I'm good enough to be an engineering major. But, still, it's nice to know that I've been accepted *somewhere.*

Our furnace went kaputt a few days ago. The house is the same temperature as outside, which is not very warm. I don't really mind sitting around in the cold, but my hands get kind of numb if I type for too long.

Death died last week. [What an odd sentence.] Destruction and Despair are still sticking around, but are acting unhealthy. I can't tell if it's the cold or if they're sick.

German test tomorrow, I think. My headache-addled brain won't let me process this information long enough to study.

Blerg. Too many things to deal with. I can't wait for Spring Break...

:: 08:14 p.m. ::
:: Wednesday, March 6, 2002 ::

"The energy produced by the breaking down of the atom is a very poor kind of thing. Anyone who looks for a source of power in the transformation of the atom is talking moonshine."
-- Lord Rutherford, physicist, 1936

See? I'm studying for the Physics test on Friday. Really. That quote was about nuclear physics, so I'm reading about it. [Good luck, Ben and Eveline. You'll do better than I will... :) ]

My fish are not doing well. This frustrates me. Del, my favorite, died yesterday (as did Destiny). Dest had been very ill for a while -- her swim bladder was so poor that she hadn't been able to get right-side-up since Friday -- and I'd been taking special care of her. She gave up sometime during the night. Del looked so much like she was alive... just laying in between the leaves of a plant, as if she was playing her usual hide-and-seek (but she wasn't breathing... I had to stare at her for several minutes, to be sure). Destruction, Death, and Despair are all still with me, but Destruction and Despair look ill.

Ironically, I think Death will be the last to die.

I wanna submit things to Polyglot, since I didn't get anything in for the Early Sumissions contest. But the deadline is Friday, and I won't have any time to write anything that isn't crap by then. I already looked through my old stuff... and had to stop myself from deleting my entire writing folder. I don't want people who know me reading that. It's... bad is not a strong enough word. Terrible. Horrible. No good. Very bad. Disturbing in its badness.

I have many things to do. I'm not doing them. Instead, I seem to be developing alternate personalities.

You're Lulu. You seem a little insensitive to those who don't know you very well, due to your cynical nature. Your mind is always thinking of things, big and small. You have a tough time of letting go of the past. You also like to bash people with plushies for fun and then fry them up with some tasty magic~! XD
Which Final Fantasy X Character would YOU be? Take the test.

What is YOUR Highschool label?

But I took it again a few hours later...

What is YOUR Highschool label?

And again...

What is YOUR Highschool label?

I think the first result was the most appropriate.

I archived! This is the end of the page! Bwahahahaha! There are no more blogly things beyond this point!

This site was created December 12, 2001 by Saje (add the .com). Unless otherwise attributed, all quotes and material are her intellectal property and cannot (some would say should not) be removed or copied without her permission.